Tag Archives: New Glarus

The Beer Archives: Belgian Red, January 2015


Yes, it’s called “Belgian Red.” So I can see where one might be laboring under the misapprehension that this could be a malty ale or lager, if one has been limited to Killian’s Irish Red or some such. That’s why there are cherries. Hell, it says “cherries” right there on top. And it’s clearly served in a snifter. Cherries. Fruit. Tart. Surely the consumers will be able to figure this out, yes?

No. Of course not. “Oh geez, I didn’t think this would be so fruity.” It’s a good thing I only overhear this stuff and not have to deal with people directly. I don’t have the chops for it.

Oh, and the design? Meh.


The Beer Archives: Staghorn Octoberfest, September 2014


I like this. I really do. If there’s any flaw at all it’s the gap between the “approved” seal in the upper left and the word “New,” but if that’s all I’m bitching about then we’re in pretty good shape.

I’d been looking at the book Bat-Manga! The Secret History of Batman in Japan. The Japanese dialogue in the word bubbles had been replaced by an English translation, and there was just something about the look that struck me as funny. So I decided to do that here, but with German. After all, there is no sweeter sound that the German language, right?

I believe the exchange goes something like this:

“I have a great thirst.”

“I have the solution to your problem!”

“Please tell me your answer.”

“Beverages at a very reasonable price!”

Something like that, anyway. Google did it for me. I understand that servers were asked by their customers to translate. Suckers.

The Beer Archives: New Glarus Totally Naked, July 2014


Another July, another 31 days of New Glarus Totally Naked at a special price. I wrapped up the 2016 version not that long ago, and I like it better than this one. But we’ll just have to wait on that.

So here’s another design inspired by old pulp covers. It’s not great, and certainly not as good as the 2013 offering. The color is fine, I guess, but the typeface mix is pretty meh. Still, this is better than what came around the following month. Just wait for that pile of garbage. Hoo, boy.

The Beer Archives: New Glarus Belgian Red, January 2014


And here we go with 2014 and New Glarus Belgian Red. I originally had something very different in mind; that “Break Winter’s Icy Grip” line was inspired by a an old advertisement for shovels and snowblowers and such, and thus the design was going to look more like a 1960s newspaper ad. I couldn’t make it work the way I wanted, so I ended up with this Art Deco-ish thingy.

It is what it is. The biggest challenge with this beer is that people see “red” and they immediately think red ale… and this ain’t that. So I usually go overboard with the cherry elements and descriptive language. If the customer can’t figure out that this is a cherry beer, then that’s not my problem. Poor fools.

The Beer Archives: New Glarus Staghorn September 2013


Yep, it’s Staghorn again. Don’t ask me why I felt compelled to make the poor young lady look like she was bathed in Cheetos. Sometimes one just follows color combinations down dangerous paths.

Fun facts: Cheetos were invented in 1948. The original version was the familiar “crunchy” style, with the “puff” variety added in 1971. I once got painfully ill on a combination of knock-off Cheetos and a tremendous supply of Miller Genuine Draft. A carpet in my childhood home still features the resulting bright orange stain. You can’t unread any of the preceding words.

The Beer Archives: New Glarus Totally Naked, July 2013


Ah, Totally Naked once agin, but not quite the same. I kept the idea of the pulp novel cover, but dropped the cartoon gal of years gone by. This resulted in a few raised eyebrows, but hey, it’s totally G-rated. Maybe PG, if you’re a prude.

The image is an old stock photo that I colorized and then ran through a few Photoshop filters. The layout is a combination of various pulp covers I was looking through. Add some beat-up texture and blammo—it’s art, dammit. Close enough anyway. I like it.

The Beer Archives: New Glarus Staghorn, September 2012


It’s Staghorn again! Of course it is. It’s September. It’s always going to be Staghorn in September. Comforting, isn’t it?

I actually do enjoy playing around with the Staghorn design each year. There’s just something fun about the German nonsense. Go figure. This year we’ve got the same beer wench, but she’s been altered a bit. Rather than the oversized novelty pitcher of years past, she’s got a number of slightly more realistic mugs. Also more cleavage, which I don’t feel the slightest bit bad about.

Anyway, this is fine. Oktoberfest-appropriate pattern in the background, adequate typefaces, decent color scheme. I’m not going to hang it on my wall, but I’m not ashamed of it. Victory!